


Boxes

by ddugeun



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 08:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2263110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddugeun/pseuds/ddugeun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the things Haru’s mother taught him when he was younger - along with ‘clean your room’ and ‘remember to do the dishes’ - was that when there’s something you don’t want to remember, put it in a box inside your head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boxes

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short piece! It's another re-write of one of my (super) old fics, but I edited it a lot to make it fit more with the characters.   
> I expect there are a few mistakes in this, but I can't find the energy to re-read this again and check orz;; so if anyone finds any, please let me know!
> 
> [!!!!] I'd just like to give everyone a head's up that this fic does mention social anxiety, because I know that the topic can be something that makes people uncomfortable so I thought I'd warn everyone before they carry on reading~
> 
> Any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated! enjoy n_n ♡

One of the things Haru’s mother taught him when he was younger - along with ‘clean your room’ and ‘remember to do the dishes’ - was that when there’s something you don’t want to remember, put it in a box inside your head. Seal up the box and cover it up with a black sheet and leave it in the corner of your mind to gather dust. It was a strange concept, Haru thought, to be able to imagine something like that without thinking about it _more_.

 

At first, he wasn’t very good at locking things up. His fears would haunt him relentlessly, bad memories would play over and over again and his anxieties and worries would build up. After a while, he got used to it. He got used to placings his memories, thoughts and troubles into a box and storing it away. Rather than forgetting like his mother told him to, he would keep them there to deal with later.

Haru became better at dealing with his problems, but worse at being able to express himself. He had packed himself so tightly into his own box, that it was a struggle to socialise and make friends.

 

Despite this, there was something thrilling about it. Being able to steer the wheel in his brain, being able to shuffle through his boxes and pick what he wanted to deal with and sort out. It felt like he was completely in control, and there was no one who could interfere with it.

 

But there was one thing - one _person_ \- that he didn’t want to lock away in the far corners of his mind.

When Rin Matsuoka arrived at his school one day, he turned a blind eye and carried on shifting through his boxes. He liked Rin a lot, but decided not to show it.

 

Even though Haru finds Rin a little too loud, a little too smiley and a little too cocky, he doesn’t want to store him away in a box. It’s not that he doesn’t want to - because he really, _really_ does- but he just decides that Rin is worth it. He’s worth thinking about, he’s worth waking up in the morning and figuring out how to deal with him. He makes Haru deal with him right then and there, instead of pushing him aside and waiting for later.

It’s worth it though, more than Haru can imagine. It’s worth being pestered about the relay, and being asked almost daily about the cherry blossoms and, ‘hey, Nanase, wanna swim?’

 

There’s something about the boy with the fiery red hair and the equally fiery red eyes that makes Haru’s heart beat a little faster, and his solid lockdown on his boxes waver.

 

But Haru already has a box ready inside his head, the name ‘Rin Matsuoka’ etched into it. Just in case.

 

\--

 

When Rin kisses Haru suddenly, Haru doesn’t know why and he really doesn’t care because the way Rin’s lips are moving against his is making his mind blank. The boxes full of stuff are blurring away and becoming non-existent as they twine their fingers together. Haru pulls away briefly to take in a breath, and to kick away the box labelled ‘Rin Matsuoka’, because whatever happens, he knows he won’t be needing it.

 


End file.
